Best Friend Application
by nomnom15
Summary: Percy has gotten into Annabeth's scrapped teenybopper magazines...and finds a peculiar "best friend application." Things go downhill...or perhaps uphill...when he and Nico are interrupted and Aphrodite gets into the mix. Is she interested in friendship or something else? Rated T for language. Sometime after MoA.**


_A/N: This is half-Perodite, half-Perico. However, not in the way you think. Aphrodite and Percy are semi-awkwardly-romantic while Percy and Nico are just friends. Enjoy._

_P.S. I STILL do not own PJO. Unfortunately for me, it STILL belongs to Rick Riordan._

* * *

**Best Friend Application**

"Just answer the questions, dammit," Percy Jackson gritted, tired of being nice to his younger cousin. Nico Di Angelo smirked, sipping more of his soda and leaning back.

"Fine," he gave in. "Give me the damn application."

Percy had been recently diagnosed with a rare disease: he was becoming addicted to teenybopper magazines. His girlfriend Annabeth Chase tended to leave hers in a convenient place, allowing him to take a peak occasionally.

The only thing that truly excited him, besides the latest news on Justin Bieber's love life, happened to be a cute little application for friends to fill out, and whoever matched the requirements would be considered his "best friend."

"OK, first question," he began, "If we were caught in a robbery and went to jail together, what would you do?"

"Throw you under the bus and take the money and run. I-I mean, I would say, 'that was awesome!' Right? That's the answer, isn't it?"

"…**That was a lucky guess."**

Nico shrugged. "I don't see why I have to do this."

"Just nine more questions and I PROMISE, I'll leave you alone."

**"You lying fuck."**

Percy sat back in frustration…more so at himself than at Nico. What had he become? A lowly, weak-minded teenybopper? He sickened himself.

"OK…would you keep my secret?"

"Yes, of course."

"Would you laugh at my jokes?"

"If they were funny…"

"Would you go to concerts with me?"

"**If you listened to good music."**

"Would you go shopping with me?"

"Sure, Captain Vagina. Sure."

"Ignoring that. Would you not go to a party and stay with me if I was sick?"

"Depends. Hot girls there?"

"Yeah…but she has a funny-looking nose and a lopsided left boob."

"…Would I still…"

"No, she has a boyfriend."

"OK. Then yes, definitely."

"What would you do to cheer me up?"

"**I'd dress as a banana and sing **_**Peanut Butter Jelly Time**_** in a British accent."**

"Good answer. What would you do to have fun?"

"We'd walk through Times Square and try to hold strangers' hands."

"Yes…YES. YOU READ MY MIND. OK, OK, last one: could we take many cute photos together?"

Nico stood silent. ""I'm not legally obligated to answer that without a lawyer or parental guardian present."

* * *

Before the two young men could slow motion high-five, a very—_unexpected_ at best—visitor arrived. The smoke cleared and both of them groaned, perhaps not so much at the smell or the inconvenience, but her looks. She was gorgeous, really, with flowing chocolate-brown hair and flawless baby-blue eyes.

"NO. NOT TODAY. ANY DAY BUT TODAY!" Percy pleaded, only causing the Goddess of Love to smile brightly.

"Fret not, Percy, I'm here on important terms today," she mused, sitting down awkwardly close to him and Nico. She lightly ran her dainty fingers up Percy's shoulder and tickled his neck.

"Like what?" he asked in a skeptic voice. "I don't feel like talking about the problems that Annabeth and I _do not_ have."

"No, no, I'm more interested in _you_," she giggled. Her voice and words echoed in his ears, just as they had merely three years prior to this moment. "You see, Percy, the Gods think that I've been spending time away from Olympus on, shall we say, _less-than-noble_ terms. Apparently there's a limit to the amount of mortal children I should be having."

"I really don't like where this is going."

"Sshhh let me finish. I need to spend my free time doing more interesting, less sexual things. So, I've decided to apply to be your best friend!"

The entire Dining Pavilion jumped as Percy burst into uncontrollable laughter. "OH HELLLLLL NO. NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. NOT IN A _BILLION_ YEARS. NOT IN A FEW HUNDRED _MILLENNIA _WOULD I BE CAUGHT WITH YOU AS MY BEST FRIEND!" he cried.

Aphrodite pouted famously, resting her light head on Percy's shoulder. "But I'd be amazing at it! We can play videogames and order pizza and talk about girls and whatever you want!"

"Nico, are you hearing this? N-Nico?" Percy inquired, only to see an empty seat across from them.

Percy sighed and stared at Aphrodite hard. If he went through with this…he did not know what being best friends with the Goddess of Love meant. What would they do? Go shopping for bras? Have pillow fights? Watch movies until they fell asleep on the sofa in their pajamas?

_Wait_, he thought. _That…that does _not_ sound bad at all._

"**Bras! Er, I-I mean, yeah, sure, let's do it!" he exclaimed.**

* * *

Weeks went by, and Percy and Aphrodite did it all. They had the sleepovers, the pillow fights, the bra shopping (_oh happy, joyous day_) and even the movie nights. Now they were on to things Percy wanted to do. And one of those activities was, as anyone could guess, swimming. The two arrived at the Camp Lake and were arguing playfully.

"You seriously don't know how to do a back-float?" Percy inquired, taking off his shirt. Aphrodite, already embarrassed at her lack of swimming experience, tried not to stare.

"I never learned!" she snapped. "It isn't a big deal…I can swim other ways just fine!"

"That's it, I have to teach you."

"I don't have a swim suit, genius!"

"Make one…can't Gods do that? Make…shit? Out of thin air?"

The Goddess smirked and punched his arm lightly…ignoring the way his bicep tensed just a tiny bit. Percy turned away for a second to place his shirt on a nearby rock, before making the biggest—or _best_—mistake of his life: turning just as Aphrodite adjusted her tight, white bikini.

"OK, I'm ready. You ready?" she smiled, perking up a bit and bouncing slightly. _Thank the Gods_.

"I-I…er…um…Mitt…Romney."

She shook her head and laughed, pushing Percy by his chest into the water.

Not long after, Percy was resting Aphrodite's back onto his hand, balancing her as she tried to float. After shaking a bit, she found herself floating on her own, cheering as she did so.

"See! I knew you could do it, Aph!" Percy said, not noticing Aphrodite beam at his cute nickname for her.

"Well I had a really good teacher," she said quietly…almost too quietly. The two stared at each other for a few seconds, before Aphrodite pulled Percy forward for a kiss.

* * *

"**That would SO not happen!"** Nico yelled, sitting back into his chair at the Dining Pavilion.

"Ye of little faith…of course it would!" Percy shot back, an arrogant smirk playing across his lips. "It's full-proof. She takes the quiz, we become best friends, we spend time together, she falls for me, I fall for her, and we become best friends _with benefits_. You forget, I'm irresistible, remember?"

"In your dreams."

"How'd you know?"

The two best friends laughed aloud, enjoying their routine breakfast session together.

"I seriously doubt you and the Goddess of Love would become friends with benefits. That would make you…I don't know, a God among men."

"You mean a demigod among men?"

Again they laughed, before Percy silenced and threw away the "application" he had previously brought out. He chuckled.

"Dude, I'm just messing. You and Grover are my best friends. And Annabeth. And Thalia. And Jason, when he is around. I have everyone I need."

It was true, Percy did have everyone he needed…and no "best friend application" would change that.

That is, until Aphrodite actually _did_ show up. But _that_ is a different story **entirely**.

* * *

_**A/N: Didn't think that would be a scenario did you? I don't know if I got you or not. It doesn't matter, really, as long as you enjoyed it. Don't forget to review! **_

– _**Chris**_


End file.
